Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!
Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghu Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai. Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya …?
Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke…
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon… Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli ‘Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain’
A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!
Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!
How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
Once a Sardar was waking he had a gloves on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says “Hello, how did you know I was here?”
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day. His distraught mother ran and asked him ” Arre Puttar, ki hoya?” (What Happened, My Son?) The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?” (These Maruti Car
people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)
Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also
‘But I think I know where I’m going wrong,’ said Santa, ‘I think I’m planting them too deep.’
Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering – Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?
Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ..
Mechanic – Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar – Dusri side tera baab dalega kya????
A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question :-
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.
A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end
but also its beginning !
Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says – What a shit ? “I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all” ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
2 Days of Power cut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters…..
Sardarji, tell me …., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know – it means….
S – Sardaron ke
M – Mazak udane ki
Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?
Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas rahe !!!
A Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road….why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the
2 sardars talking during diwali 1st: Jab phatake phut te hai to
Pahle light dhekhai deti hai phir awaz, aisa kyon ? 2nd: Kyonki
hamari aankh aage hai aur kaan piche
A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in particular She replied: That’s easy. I call them by their surname !
koi apni biwi ka ! antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki
achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui. dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pohanch gayee
Man: How was your exam today ? Sardar: Fine, except for one
question which was difficult Man: Which one ? Sardar: What is the past tense of THINK ? I thought…i thought …i thought about it and wrote THUNK