IT Humour

Perfect S/W development

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Client: “Our next requirement, this is something big, you know, we need an elephant…”
IT team : but why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

C No, we need only elephant, let me explain our current process……………..” (client explains for an hour)
IT :Fine, i understand ur requirement. But our system supports only buffalo… Read the rest of this entry »

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Facebook Addiction

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The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the “Heroin Addiction Department (HAD),”
the “Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)” and the “Bingo Addiction Department (BAD).”
Read the rest of this entry »

IF ONLY LIFE COULD BE LIKE A COMPUTER!

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IF ONLY LIFE COULD BE LIKE A COMPUTER!
————————————————-
If you messed up your life, you could press “Alt, Ctrl, Delete”
and start all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! Read the rest of this entry »

LIFE BEFORE COMPUTERS CAME

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An application was for employment, a program was a TV show and keyboard was a piano! Compress was something you did to garbage not something you did to a file and if you unzipped anything in public you’d be in jail for awhile! Log on was adding wood to a fire, hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived, web was a spider’s home and a virus was the flu!

Mohabbatein in Software House

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Aik coder tha deewana sa
coding karne se woh darta tha..

Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se…
pooch ke coding kiya karta tha…. Read the rest of this entry »

Wedding Query……. . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

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CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@BrideGroom Char(notBad) ,
@BrideChar(Good)

AS
BEGIN

SELECTBride FROMindia_Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND
CarCount > 2 AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’ AND
BrideEduStatus=’PGorAbove’ AND
HavingBrothers=’NO’ AND
HavingSisters =’No’ AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’

SELECTGold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROMFatherInLaw

UPDATEMyBankAccout SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLockerSET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTOMyCarShedVALUES(‘BMW’)

END
GO

.

.

.

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND

Commit;

Source: yrandhir@hotmail.com

Which company is better?

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So Bill Gates and the chairman of GM are arguing over which company is better. Bill Gates boast, “If cars grew in technology as fast as computers did, we would be driving v-32 instead of v-8, our cars would get 5000 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. Anyway the sticker price for a car would be 50 dollars.”

And which the GM replies, “Sure, but would you really want a car that crashes 4 times a day!”