Month: June 2008

What woman say and man understand

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What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C’mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now!

What a man hears:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON, blah, blah, YOU AND I, blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW.

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Geography of Women

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Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half-wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30, a woman is like UK. Well developed and open to trade,
especially for someone with cash. Read the rest of this entry »

The Corporate Language

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“We will do it”
means
” You will do it”
“You have done a great job”
means
“More work to be given to you”

Read the rest of this entry »

Research on Women

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((HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET))
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN – A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT:    Women
SYMBOL:     Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS:Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg

OCCURRENCES:Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimen don’t come into direct contact with each other.