Engineer opens a clinic

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An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: “A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we’ll pay you $1,000 if we fail.”
A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “This is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.
Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”
Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000,” passing the doctor a $500 note.
Doctor: “But this is $500…”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your vision back! That will be $500.”

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Questions That Haunt Me

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Questions That Haunt Me

1 Read the rest of this entry »

Never Lie to a Woman

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A man called home to his wife and said,
Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends

We’ll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting,
so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box,
we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up”
” Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas.” Read the rest of this entry »

The speech of President Mugabe

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The speech of President Mugabe…True Story:

1. Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tyres.
2. Racism Will never end as long we still wash first white clothes, and other colours later.
3. Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolise bad luck and WHITE for peace!
4. Racism will never end if people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to the funerals.
5. Racism will never end as long as those who don’t pay their bills are blacklisted not White listed. Even when playing  pool (snooker), you haven’t won until you sink the black ball,and the white ball must remain on the field.

BUT I don’t CARE,SO LONG AS I’M  USING  WHITE TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BLACK ASS,I ‘M STILL FINE! (Mugabe speech)

Installing Husband

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A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
Read the rest of this entry »

Performance & Position

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A Priest dies and is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven’s Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who you are, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not. Read the rest of this entry »

Use of Technology

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Madam: Useless Bai !!!.. Why didn’t you come last week? And that too without informing me??????
Kamwali Bai: O Myadam… I had updated my Facebook status as “Will be out of town for a week..”. Saaheb knows. He even commented “Come soon… Miss U!!”